she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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