used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Randomize
