I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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