McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
