She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
