My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
