If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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