is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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