it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
you never un-have a 4some
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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