did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Randomize
