I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
