am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize