i permit you to call me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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