she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I love you.
Bad choice
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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