11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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