There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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