I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
