Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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