It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
