Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
