she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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