I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
