my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
