he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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