Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
