We're like a lot better than the average bears
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
