dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
