who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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