the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
