I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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