2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
