im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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