Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I still have a little drunk in my system
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
