i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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