At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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