Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
