Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
