Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
