My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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