wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
