Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
