He uses pillows to masturbate.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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