The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
