I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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