my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
