So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
