Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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