sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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