Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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