Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
