Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize