i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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