whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
