david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
