he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
