What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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