I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i out mim tonsoeep
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