When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
