Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My life is pants optional.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
