dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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