Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
