Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
