whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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