Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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