hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize